Friday Funny: Thailand Stick, 1500cc’s of Two-Stroke Insanity

If you told us you were going to launch yourself in a 250 horsepower long shaft propeller-equipped skiff down a waterway in the remote reaches of Thailand with no helmet or safety harness, we’d most likely call you an idiot. We would also ice down a few beers to watch your attempt. But here it is in all its two-stroke, custom-painted glory. Turns out, there’s an entire scene in Thailand for customized longtail drag boats. If this clip isn’t insane enough, these Thai terrors also make side-by-side liquid quarter-mile blasts, rooster tails high in the humid air.

The highest longtail boat speed ever recorded was 102 mph according to our research. You ever went 75 mph on the water? It’s nuts. Over 100 mph, your legs wedged against the back of the skiff, no helmet, crouched down like a tiger, with your right hand full throttle on the 15-foot long propeller shaft? Are you kidding? Have you lost your mind? Listen carefully to this terrifying two-stroke lean out as the guy approaches the top end. It’s a mechanical song straight from sweet baby Jesus.

We bow in praise of you, Thai guy. You make American top fuel hydro’s look pedestrian. Your hot boats and your brass balls have our jaws on the floor. You win.